5 Ways to Waste your Summer

Five Ways to Waste Your Summer

SUMMER! School lets out, offices turn into patios, and short drives turn into long walks. Things slow down, and I’ll bet that you had some serious plans to take advantage of the extra time:

Re-connect with friends! Have fun! Workout towards that beach bod! Crank up your professional image! Network your ass off!

We’re well past the midway point of summer now. If you’ve stuck to all of your sky-high ambitions, then feel free to stop reading, or better yet read on to know thy enemy. This article contains surefire ways to waste the rest of your summer, and the last thing we’d want is to corrupt your otherwise perfect summer, so reader beware.

To all the time wasting pros, forge onward! We’ll even allude to a few productive uses for each of these time wasters in case you ever feel like making a change.

5)  Reddit

Reddit can be a productive source of information. It can be a great source of world news and international perspective. It can also be a good way to gain feedback on your own ideas. But that’s only if you can dodge all the puppy pics and memes, and limit your consumption times (if you spend longer than you would on a morning paper, it’s too long).

Reddit’s a cool way to waste time, because it’s all user generated, and with such a large user base, there’s always more to browse. Reddit is particularly special, because it makes you feel like one of the world-wise and internet savvy elite. Not only does Reddit make you feel superior to all of those internet-inepts, but it also makes you feel like a superior time waster.

For those a little lost, here’s a quick breakdown: Because Reddit often serves as an original source of content for other sites like 9gag, a lot of Redditors think that somehow, this makes their time spent browsing memes more productive.

Way to make people feel good about wasting time Reddit!

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I only waste time on 9Gag… ironically.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4)   ‘Faux-Network’

Professional networking can be productive, and it is absolutely essential to professional development and progression. But don’t fret time wasters, because here’s the cool part about networking: it just means connecting with people. Went to a house party last week? Networking. Get some hot dude or chick’s number? Networking. Mid-day stop in at the office pub? Networking!

This kind of networking is definitely not productive to your profession. While anything can fall under the category of networking, building your professional network involves creating meaningful, mutually beneficial connections with people in your industry. Doing anything else, and calling it professional networking is a perfect way to waste your workday.

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Crash your car and exchange info with the other driver? Yeah, sure, let’s count that: Networking!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3)  Facebook

Aaah. Facebook, the king of social networking. By virtue of its vast user base and functions, you can see what all of your friends are doing, all of the time (creepy, eh?). And here’s the thing about summer: everyone is doing something.

Seeing your friends do cool stuff can be a great motivator to get off the couch and do your own awesome things. But with so many friends doing so many things, it’s easier just to live vicariously through them.

If you want to waste your summer, the easiest way to do it is to spend every spare “I’m bored” moment checking your news feed for updates.

That’s not to say Facebook isn’t useful. It can be great for informing yourself, connecting authentically, and staying in touch with people in other parts of the world. But let’s face it, when even TIME Magazine tells you it may be a bad idea to waste time on there, it’s probably a bad idea. Translation: time wasters, go wild!

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Went to three concerts in two cities, got published in a magazines, a newspaper and a research journal, and I got engaged at the Yankees game last night. Didn’t get off the couch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2)   Television

There is probably not a single more satisfying way to waste your time than with hours upon hours of mindless TV. Desk jockey by day, avid crime fighter (watcher) by night, it’s the perfect dull life combo. TV can be a great way to educate yourself – yes, believe it or not, channels like Discovery and the History channel do still exist – but somehow, I suspect most of you couldn’t tell me what number those channels rest on. Instead, most people watch mindless reality TV and blitz through entire drama series in the course of a weekend.

It’s not productive, and wastes your time in the glamorized lives of TV starts and fictional characters. It’s not healthy either, especially once you add your mid-meal fatty, salty, delicious snack.

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Not now ma! I just started the 26th episode of Honey Boo Boo and shit’s about to get real!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1)  Stay up late

Nothing says unproductive like living in Canada on Chinese Standard Time. Want to waste your summer away? Just make sure you’re only cognizant while the rest of the city is asleep. Want to waste even more time? Try combining this technique with any of the others. Whether it’s via Reddit, Faux-Networking, Facebook or TV, staying up late to waste time is the worst possible way to do so. It kills the time you’re using, and renders the rest of your sleepy-eyed time less productive than it otherwise would be.

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Stay up late and you will crash. Hard. Golden lab hard.

That’s it. Want to waste the rest of your summer? Now you know how.

We’re just approaching the last few weeks point now, and the choice of what to do with yourself is yours! You can waste away the final few weeks in these satisfying sinkholes, or you can steer clear of traps and make the most of your summer. Whatever you decide to do, be sure to start now!

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