— Guest blog by Tash Jeffries. I met Tash and was inspired by her energy, affection and passion for people. I asked her to share with us something that is part of her connection with others. Enjoy! — Bobby
As I walk around the city, my level of awareness to people and is always super-high. I like to see what’s in fashion, watch for people who have a great sense of style, and just admire beauty in general.
One of the things I do quite commonly is that I’ll stop a man or woman, and tell them “you are stunning” when I truly do think they are. What’s so surprising is that usually when I say this, the person for whom the compliment was intended usually looks around, and then looks back at me and asks “Who me?!!!!!”. I now realize that as a society, we are not used to being complimented, just for the sake of being complimented, with absolutely no strings attached. Usually it means “I’d like you to buy something” or “I need you to listen to something”. When I say it, people know that it’s genuinely coming from my heart, and I seek nothing in return.
I know the power of these random acts of kindness. In addition to stopping a random stranger and acknowledging how beautiful they are, here are some other things we all can do:
• Smile!!! – yes, this is a simple one, but more people don’t do it, and not often enough either. I’m usually found smiling, but it stands out because it’s uncommon. I’m hoping more people can do it so that it becomes common!
• Compliment Freely – it doesn’t just have to be because a person is beautiful. Maybe someone has a great outfit, or you like their jacket. Doesn’t matter! You acknowledging their style is a compliment and also means “thank you for being you”.
• “Well Deserved” ¬- this one I actually borrowed from one of Seth Godin’s newsletters, but its still so valid. When someone wins an award, achieves something, “well deserved” is always better than “congratulations” because it’s an acknowledgement of the work they put in to win.
• Accept Compliments Graciously – because most people aren’t used to receiving comments, they usually are accepted by feeling like they’re falling on deaf ears. In the case of men hitting on women, compliments are usually followed by a snarl followed with a look that says “how dare you talk to me?!”. Doesn’t matter if you’re taken or single, when someone stops you to tell you how beautiful you are, smile and say thank you.
When we were young kids, we had absolutely no reservations about walking up to a stranger, if we wanted to play with them, if we wanted to talk with them, or just ask them a question (one of the reasons I LOVE watching kids play and discover the world!). Somewhere along the line as adults, we lose this sense of going after every opportunity. Practising acknowledgement helps us get rid of inhibitions, appreciate those around us, assist in establishing great relationships, and also help us boost our confidence. It takes guts to give without expectation like this. It also builds character and resiliency… Oh, and did I mention that it always makes for wonderful conversation starters with even more strangers? 🙂
Tash Jefferies is a best-selling author, speaker, trainer, facilitator with Cool Connections TO and Lifestyle Cheerleader. She helps people detox their lives. Find out more information about her and her programs at http://www.tashjefferies.com.